The more I look for reasons to live,
The more I see reasons why not to.
There is pain in life itself,
As we are pulling the weight of our body,
The weight of our relations,
The weight of our belongings,
The weight of the society,
It is pulling down and anchoring my soul.
The white light within me flickers
As it desperately tries to breathe
But it fails, time and again.
It wants to be free,
It wants to fly high in sky,
It wants to swim deep in the ocean,
It wants to dance in the rain,
It wants to be lost in a crevice in the mountains.
I don’t see love,
I don’t see life.
I crave not being,
I long for nothingness.
There are memories of people who are long gone,
But sometimes they are just there next to you.
Their presence so strong, you feel another breath,
And they will materialize into their living selves.
I know I am losing my touch of reality,
When I see the cushion turning into a wave.
I see a swift movement from the corner of my eye,
Where there is nothing else.
No I am not inebriated,
The bitter pills forbid the happiness
Of drowning my sorrows.
This pit is not dark as people say,
Hell it is no pit I must say.
It seems like a gateway of happiness,
Away from the truth I was taught to accept.
I see I am falling,
I see myself fading,
Aha! What a beautiful feeling it is,
To lose yourself and never be born again.
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