Reaction and Response

Imagine that someone, your friend or boss or a colleague, neighbor, or family member shows unpleasant behavior because of something you did, what do you do? Do you react in such a way that it turns into a confrontation or a fight? Do you think about your reaction before you react? Why do different people react differently in the same situation?

Giving a reaction is a little different from giving a response. When we react, many times it is instinctive, interpersonal or in opposition to a particular situation or person. That reaction may or may not be favorable, depending on how you feel. The same response takes into account the result. There can be a positive or negative result after a reaction, whereas in a response, a positive or negative result is produced after thinking.

To react is emotion and to respond is emotional intelligence. the ability to respond, when we have more control over our automatic thoughts we can choose to respond in a more rational and less emotive was.

Let us understand this with an example.

Everyone must have heard the stories of Panchatantra, they were as interesting as they were psychological. These stories very simply explained the importance of emotional intelligence or emotional health. There is one such story which you must have read and heard, the story started like this. A farmer couple lived in a village. They had a small son. Both of them loved their son very much. They had kept a mongoose in their home, both of them loved it like their own child, one day in the evening when the husband had gone to the market and the wife had to go to the well to fill water, then they cradled the mongoose and saw their sleeping son. She leaves the house to be guarded, when a snake enters the house from somewhere.

When she returned after collecting water from the well, she saw a mongoose soaked in blood at the door. She got scared after seeing the mongoose and thought that it had killed the child, so in anger she threw a pitcher full of water on the mongoose. She went inside the house crying and saw that the child was sleeping comfortably in the cradle. A snake is lying dead nearby. Seeing all this, it did not take long for him to understand that it was only because of the mongoose that his child is alive today. He felt very remorseful that in a misunderstanding he had killed the mongoose which had saved his child's life.

Now here the link of reaction and response seems to be connected, if she had shown a little understanding and instead of reacting immediately, she had gone to her house and seen and then reacted, then today the situation would have been different and the mongoose would have been alive. And she would be saved from feeling guilty. Now let us take another example. In the office, your boss scolded you in the meeting, after coming back home you are quarreling with your wife or husband on trivial or unnecessary matters and are venting out the anger of the office on the children. This is your reaction.

So how do we respond instead of reacting?

1. Self-Awareness in Communication – Understanding our emotions and true feelings It is very important that you try to understand deeply the situations of yourself as well as the people associated with you. If you are having problems with someone else and it is a routine for you to continue your relationship with them, then understand their feelings. Put yourself in their place and try. This will help you understand their circumstances better. This will correct your behavior and that of the other person too.
2. Empathy in Communication – The ability to recognize how others feel. In this “I World” we all think about ourselves – how I feel, what I want, what I need. The truth is that successful people are those who have empathy for others. Empathy requires a response, not a reaction. The more we consider others, the better we understand others, our responses are more balanced when we are empathetic.
3. Social Skills – Cultivation of good interpersonal skills to improve communication Interpersonal skills are the behaviors a person uses to interact effectively with others. People use interpersonal skills when dealing with others, whether in the workplace, social situations or within the family. Even in the business world, interpersonal skill to give reaction or response gives rise to better results. A reaction is about the moment whereas a response is about the outcome.                                                                                                                                                                  Relationships, love, job-business etc

Almost everything revolves around reaction and response. If we do not give proper direction and balance our emotions, it creates an explosive situation. As you often see, it is because of the intensity of reaction that a war is being waged all over the world. Emotions keep flowing continuously. Just as the ocean of thoughts keeps flowing inside us. But we have to decide how to handle our emotions. How to respond? actually its easier said than done but practice and patience is the key.