Proma 🐝 Nautiyal

2 years ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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*The Reverse S'more*


*The Reverse S'more*The Reverse S'more

People generally refrain from difficult conversations, until and unless they have a method in place which helps them tackle difficult situations and confrontations in an "oh-so easy" manner that leaves people wondering how they do it in the first place, so consistently. 

However, for most of us, life seems easier when we can avoid those conversations or just go for them reluctantly as a person with acrophobia, or even better, tachophobia (fear of speed) would sit on a roller coaster. Just get on it, get it done, and pray that you come out of that terrifying experience in a single piece. 

Workplace situations are often the most dreaded scenarios. You need to get the work done and you need to make sure mistakes or inefficiencies are kept at bay. These requirements call for the so-called difficult conversations and this is the method I have adopted to come out of these unscathed. 

                                                                                Image courtsey: Pexels

Not all conversations in life are easy, be it personal or professional communication. But there is always a good way of conveying something that the person might perceive as unpleasant. Most often it's a feedback that makes people feel uncomfortable. They might end up taking it personally rather than an outcome of the work they have done. 

Here's a way in which you could handle difficult feedback-related conversations: 

1. Appreciate the person's efforts 

2. Say that it could also be done 'this way' which 'might' provide better and quicker results

3. Once again, appreciate the person's overall effort at workplace which is not specific to the particular job outcome you were talking about. 

This makes the person feel valued as a part of the organization (even family). Even if they were partially considering point 2 earlier, now they feel motivated to actually do better and think of following what you said. 

Opening and closing with appreciation makes the person feel valued and thus open to suggestions, rather than feel victimized for being criticized and act out defensively opposing your suggestions. I would like to call this "The Reverse S'more Theory" : Marshmallows on the outside, cracker on this inside. 

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A writer, strategist, and marketer by profession, I have a knack for all things marketing, technology, and languages. When I am not doing anything related to the above three, you will find me on my spiritual quest. For me life is about continuous learning till the end of days. 

My motto: "There is no bigger pleasure than going to bed, everyday, a little bit wiser and happier than you woke up that morning."

You can find out more about me and my works at: www.digiwitch.com



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Proma 🐝 Nautiyal

2 years ago #7

#5
Continuous learning and improvement...like polishing the coal to turn it into diamond, so that it reflects light and lights up its surrounding instead. True, the right appraoch is necessary and having a positive mindset also helps in making sure the conversation is a postive and fruitful one. Missed that one earlier. Thank you, David Navarro L\u00f3pez.

Proma 🐝 Nautiyal

2 years ago #6

#4
I think reading through your various buzzes powered with metaphors and analogies has definitely helped me start seeing things differently and in a more fluid manner, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Empathy is my all time favorite term/virtue. My business premise lies on it and so do my pitches, talks, and written works. Thank you so much for your kind comment. I always look forward to them on every buzz of mine.

David Navarro López

2 years ago #5

To your motto: "There is no bigger pleasure than going to bed, everyday, a little bit wiser and happier than you woke up that morning", my own one is "Continuous improvement is the only way to change the world and make it a better place to live in" I would add to your 3 points about handling difficult conversations, point 0: make sure you have the right approach to the situation. If the aim is positive, just let the things flow...

Your buzz dear Proma \ud83d\udc1d Nautiyal, who discussed empathy.

Proma 🐝 Nautiyal

2 years ago #3

Thank you so much for your comment! Your words are refreshing and motivating. It is true, difficult conversations require patience and sensitivity which is a rare phenomena these days. That is why mastering this skill has become even more important in today's date. Life is a continuous learning process and this is a skill I hope to master in this life.  I am sorry I am unable to tag you on the comment as this feature does not work when I use beBee on my phone. I hope you are able to find and read my comment. Have a great day! 

Proma 🐝 Nautiyal

2 years ago #2

Thank you so much for your comment! Your words are refreshing and motivating. It is true, difficult conversations require patience and sensitivity which is a rare phenomena these days. That is why mastering this skill has become even more important in today's date. Life is a continuous learning process and this is a skill I hope to master in this life.  I am sorry I am unable to tag you on the comment as this feature does not work when I use beBee on my phone. I hope you are able to find and read my comment. Have a great day! 

CityVP Manjit

2 years ago #1

The wisdom of dealing with difficult conversations does depend on the transformation of our personal habits. Not all have the kind of patience or sensitivity or even awareness to tone down and reframe conversations, but it is possible and that possibility comes through recognizing the skill-sets of coaching. Coaching, mentoring, training, mediating, teaching, counseling and facilitating are seven skills I do need to develop and they do require me to communicate differently. What has held me back in the past is assuming that communicating differently means changing the way I communicate. That is where I see things differently because it is not about changing the way we communicate but adding a new layer of sophistication and know-how to our communication abilities. This means that I can still be me but learn to see certain situations such as difficult conversations in a new light and in that light make a commitment to learn and develop in what are seven communication skill areas I have identified for myself. To think that just one of those skill sets is more than a book long, means being realistic about such skill development. To supplement the skills I have in communication is my own personal path forward and so it requires both an understanding of what makes difficult conversations different, but recognizing the vast array of skills we do not pay attention to. Yet another area of communication I need to improve is extending language skills such as grammar and other advanced language skills. It is never too late to learn this but it does require the time, attention, will and focus to pursue this specialized communication learning.

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